


Inconsequential

by DreamersMyth27



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Azula has a happier life though, But he doesn't mean to be, Child Abuse, Deaf Character, Deaf zuko, Gen, Iroh is kinda bad in this too, Kiyi is a sweetie, Not by our main character but by the lovely Ozai, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Sexism, Sokka and Katara and kinda mean, Ty Lee is the absolute best, Ursa is kinda a bad parent too, Ursa tries, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, but she doesn't understand Zuko's trauma, for now it's done but we'll see, he just believes ozai too much, maybe there will be more maybe not, sorry for what i did to him, zuko's life is just sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25975528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamersMyth27/pseuds/DreamersMyth27
Summary: Zuko has never had anyone there for him. His sister has his Uncle. His father has evilness. His mother has whoever she ran away with. Zuko has cruel kids in high school and trauma.No one cares. Not his father, not his mother, not Azula, not Uncle.Zuko is alone.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 100
Kudos: 397





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Be forewarned that I wrote this last night at like two in the morning and I am not editing because I'm that lazy. This is kinda a weird piece, almost what if Azula has Uncle Iroh and Zuko stayed with his father. Except modern because I've never done it before and I wanted to. I probably won't continue this, but the original idea did come from a few panels of Zuko and Kiyi, so originally it was supposed to be about them and Ursa. If I get inspired or too many people bug me about it I'll probably write a follow-up chapter.

All four years of Zuko’s life in high school are miserable. His sister gets sent off to some fancy boarding school in Japan because she can speak it well enough to avoid embarrassing the family. Zuko stays home with his father and enters a public high school where everyone knows his name and hates him while Azula galavants around Japan and probably stays for weekends at their uncle’s apartment.

Who wouldn’t hate the public defender’s son; the public defender who puts people in prison who don’t deserve it and makes sure they get the maximum time if he doesn’t like them; the public defender who spends most of his free time on vacations to places tropical and exotic.

Long story short, Zuko isn’t popular. It’s made worse by the fact that his face is still healing even a year later and partway through the school year he has to get more correctional surgery to keep his eye from losing sight completely.

He has glasses now. One of the lenses is simply clear while the one over his damaged eye has a strong prescription. He hates them and he hates how everyone looks at him. All of them seem to think that his scar is from some fight he prompted or something he did. Some of them joke about it being revenge. His father has made a lot of people angry in his time as a public defender.

The two who hate him the most are these siblings, Sokka and Katara. Sokka is his age, enters school at the same time as him and everything. Katara is two years younger but when she joins them in high school she makes his life hell. Most people ignore him or say things behind his back. They say things loud and proud.

He doesn’t find out until later why they hate him so much. One of his father’s ‘friends’ was their mother’s killer. He got away on a technicality despite the mountain of evidence. A technicality his father created. 

Sokka is mostly cold to him, but he trips him a few times or shoves him from behind. Everyone, even teachers, turns a blind eye to it. Katara is meaner. She tells him that she’s not scared of him, she’s ready for the second he ever does anything. She follows this up with mean glares and threatening looks every time he sees her. She always has her brother nearby to back her up.

Meanwhile, Azula stays in Japan every summer. She tells Father that she gets internships, but Zuko hopes she’s lying. He hopes maybe Uncle is kinder to her and she’s finally wanting to leave father. It’s probably a far-fetched hope, but he has it nonetheless. He kind of hates her for getting out though. He hates that she gets to be happy and without Father while he suffers at home and works thirty hours during the school year just to avoid being in the house with Father.

His boss hates him, probably. Her name is Hama. She’s an old woman who pays him to help her with her inn. He chops wood for her genuine fireplaces and cleans everything possible and learns to cook all sorts of strange foods to please her. She pays him fairly, but she makes comments that aren’t dissimilar from what everyone at school says.

When he finally graduates he goes alone and no one claps while he grabs his diploma. His father isn’t at the ceremony, so no one has to clap. He doesn’t stay long after that, only enough to empty what used to be his locker. The thing is, he’s alone in the school and his vision is bad. He’s not wearing his glasses and he doesn’t notice anyone until a book is already slamming down on his head.

He wakes up (what he discovers to be two weeks) later in the hospital. His father isn’t there. No one is. The doctor’s all hate him too; they must with who his father is.

He doesn’t hear anything when he wakes up but the doctor in the room with him hands him a notebook. On it are a few pages of notes. All he manages to read is _hearing loss_ and _permanent damage_ before he can’t look anymore.

“What happened?” he asks. It’s weird without his voice. Without hearing it, that is. He doesn’t know if he’s being too loud or quiet. He must be okay though because his doctor looks at him and doesn’t look too annoyed.

Her lips move before she’s grabbing the notebook and writing something in it and shoving it back in his hands. She’s gone a moment later. Zuko looks at the notebook.

_Someone bashed your head in with a book._

It feels so trivial. Or course someone did. They all hate him. They were probably trying to kill him, whoever they are. Someone from school. Maybe Katara. She hates him enough to want him dead. Her brother could have done it for her. It could have been anyone.

His father doesn’t visit the hospital once. When Zuko is discharged he has a pamphlet about being deaf and an appointment booked (by his father of course) to learn lip-reading. In New York City. It’s fine. Zuko was going to NYU for college anyway, not that anyone ever asked. 

His apartment is small, but his father is insistent that their family is too good for dorms. Zuko hates that it’s another thing he has to rely on his father for. He hates that his father pays his tuition and he hates that he’s alone. Azula hasn’t called him since before she started high school in Japan (two years ago now) and Uncle doesn’t even send cards anymore. 

His teacher for lip-reading is a perky, smiley, peppy girl who has a long braid and talks very fast. Or at least her mouth moves very fast. When she first meets him she launches into rapid sign language and he has to hold out his hands to stop her and frantically explain that he can’t sign. He doesn’t know if he talks too loud or quiet, but she understands.

In his notebook, she writes: _You need to sign before I can teach you to lip-read. It’s important to learn._

“My father is only paying for this. He won’t want to do anymore.”

_Then I’ll teach you sign first. I can always do lip-reading for free. By the way, I’m Ty Lee._

“I’m Zuko,” he mumbles.

Ty Lee is a good teacher, despite his initial impression of her. She’s kind, patient, and thorough. There’s not much you can learn in three months, but he’s sure that what she’s taught him is enough to survive college.

She forces him to continue their lessons, even through his first semester. He can’t pay her back, but she says it can be repaid later. He goes to lectures and takes notes off of slides and also signs up to receive notes from a hearing student in his class, that way he can be sure he doesn’t miss anything. They’re emailed to him every week by the DRC. 

Soon enough his first semester is over and it’s winter break. Ty Lee goes home but she gives him her phone number and surprisingly he finds himself texting her and occasionally calling her on facetime. It’s not practicing, she’s just his friend. He has a friend, which is wild. Ty Lee doesn’t go to college and she spent part of her childhood living in a circus. They couldn’t be more different and yet she’s his best friend.

He gets a job in the winter and saves up enough to pay her for all the time she did spend on him in the fall, teaching him and helping him. She refuses to accept it so instead he donates it all to the charity she volunteers at every week. He volunteers for a few weeks too and the big smile she gets when he tells her makes him smile.

Spring brings new classes and a translator at the front of all Zuko’s lectures. It’s nice, being able to take notes again for real and understand everything right away. He almost loses himself in his happiness until he gets the email.

At first, he’s happy when he sees it sitting in his inbox.

_Zuzu,_

_Uncle and I are taking a trip to New York City in a few weeks. He insisted I contact you and ask if you wanted to have dinner with us at some point. I tried to tell him you probably don’t care, but you know Uncle. Let me know if you want to meet up. If not, don't respond. Uncle doesn’t need to be more disappointed with false apologies._

_Azula_

Zuko ignores how passive-aggressive it is and emails back quickly that he’d love to spend some time with them. The weeks go by fast with him looking forward to seeing them until he’s standing outside a slightly upscale restaurant and waiting for them to meet him in front.

Uncle looks exactly as he remembers, but Azula is like a completely different person. Her hair is down and a little messy, she’s not wearing any makeup, her outfit is a little mismatched and she’s laughing at something Uncle said to her. When she sees him her face falls and suddenly she’s just as closed off as she was years ago.

Uncle says something Zuko doesn’t quite catch, so he asks him to repeat it. 

“What are you, deaf?” Azula says. He’s seen it enough to recognize it.

“Yes,” he says, heart sinking. Did she just forget? Uncle’s fallen face tells Zuko that Uncle forgot too and suddenly he’s not looking forward to dinner as much.

They don’t talk to him during dinner. No one talks at all. Zuko tries not to be disappointed, but he thought at least Uncle might still love him. He thought Uncle would care about him.

“I’ll see you later,” Zuko says before he turns and leaves the moment they’re out of the restaurant. If they call him, he doesn’t hear it.

They don’t contact him at all.

He doesn’t hear anything from them until the beginning of summer when a lengthy (for Azula) email arrives.

_Zuko,_

_I wanted to email you earlier, but Uncle and I weren’t sure what to say. Father told me often when I asked for your phone number or email address that you weren’t interested in contacting me. I found your email by mistake honestly. I believed him and so did Uncle._

_I’m sorry._

_I didn’t know you were deaf. I didn’t know about you wearing glasses. I didn’t even really know if you were still alive. I shouldn’t have believed Father about anything he said. Uncle agrees with me of course. If you want, we’d love to have you visit us this summer. There are plane tickets attached. Please come visit._

_Zula_

Zuko doesn’t know what to think. It sounds like Father, but they never once checked in. Not Uncle, not Azula. Azula left for Japan before he even had his scar. It implies that they didn’t know anything about what his father was doing.

Or that they didn’t care enough to find out. 

Zuko’s not sure if he’s ready to talk to them, not when they went years without even questioning anything. He doesn’t want to hurt anymore. He’s finally okay with where he is in life. He’s doing good. College is going well and he has some friends. He’s not ready to face them.

_Azula,_

_I’m sorry. I don’t think I can come this summer. I’ll let you know if this changes in the future._

_Zuko_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this guys...
> 
> _(I'm sorry)_
> 
>  **Warnings:** Panic Attack, Sexism (By Ozai), Implifications of Abuse, Mentiions of Abuse

Zuko’s summer, for the first time in his life, is carefree. Ty Lee brings him places and introduces him to people who sign. She always knows when he’s overwhelmed and when he needs to go home. He works at a bookstore as a cashier five days a week, saving up as much as he can. His father is still paying for everything, and Zuko may be able to use that now, but later, when his father actually looks at his major (switched to Photography with a minor in ASL) he’s sure to be cut off. Better to prepare now so that he can still afford school.

He hardly thinks about his uncle or Azula. It’s only on lonely nights he can’t sleep that he actually thinks about them. He imagines the way Azula’s face had pinched when she saw him before she asked him if he was deaf. The brief moment of shock when she saw his scar, when he said he was deaf. The immediate closure of any emotion after.

It haunts him in a way. She’s still his younger sister and seeing her pull the same face she always did around Father after Mother left, the face that made Father think she was just like him, it hurts. He doesn’t understand why she did it to him.

Now he knows it’s because she never knew what Father did to him, but it still hurts. Zuko never emailed or called her, but he didn’t have a phone or email. He wasn’t allowed on electronics unless it was for school and under supervision. When he did get a phone it was cheap and he never had anyone to call anyway. Still, Uncle could have visited. Zuko has fond memories of the many visits he made when Zuko was young.

Zuko never thinks of it in the light of day. He’s older and he should be forgiving. It’s his job to let Azula do what she wants to him, his father used to say when he was young. But for once Zuko doesn’t know if he can let her just move on. He wants more. He deserves more.

Ty Lee likes to tell him that he’s too nice to people. He lets them walk all over him. He’s never said anything, but he thinks she knows he’s scared of a lot of things. People included.

It’s about half way through the summer that he experiences the first break in his regular, normal, amazing year. Someone taps on his shoulder, not too unusual when asking for help since Zuko isn’t likely to answer, and when he turns around he sees a familiar face.

Sokka’s previous grin twists in disgust as he spits something out too fast for Zuko to follow along. Zuko tilts his head in confusion, which seems to infuriate Sokka more before he takes a deep breath and simply glares at Zuko.

“Do you know where the graphic novels are?”

“Yes,” Zuko whispers (he thinks). His hands itch at his side to sign. He forces them to be still. Can’t have another thing available for Sokka to be cruel to him about, or tell his father out of spite.

Sokka follows him towards the back of the store. Zuko waits a moment and when Sokka doesn’t turn towards him he turns around to walk away. He thinks he’s in the clear, just another unpleasant reunion, until Sokka grabs his shoulder and spins him around. He’s yelling, but Zuko can’t hear anything. He’s so scared. He always thought maybe it was Sokka and Katara - the most vocal about their hatred of him in highschool - who attacked him with a book, but now in a bookstore surrounded by huge textbooks he’s terrified that Sokka’s about to slam something into his head.

Something about his terror must show in his eyes because Sokka lets him go and takes a step back, eyes confused. Zuko’s muttering something under his breath but he’s too far gone to realize it. Everything feels floaty and blurry. He might pass out.

Just as he starts to fall back, he feels someone’s hands on his back.

‘Ty Lee,’ he thinks. Who else would want to actually help him?

When he comes to, he's sitting on the floor and Sokka is right in front of him saying… something. He’s not sure. Before he realizes it, Sokka is standing up and gone and Zuko is alone. He stands up stiffly and goes to the back to find his boss. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to continue working right now. 

He used to work through attacks like that when he worked for Hama. She always laughed at him if she saw one. She paid him fairly, yes, but she said such cruel things to him that he now wonders if the job was worth it. Even a few months ago he would have said yes. Now he’s not so sure.

He doesn’t see Sokka during any more shifts. In fact, after that his summer is relaxing again, even more than before. Sokka may be here, but he hasn’t come back and that means he won’t torment Zuko.

At least, it’s relaxing until he finds a little girl crying at the front door of his apartment. He doesn’t dislike children, but he’s never been around many, and what little experience he has from home tells him most kids find his scar off-putting, to say the least. He carefully pushes more hair in front of the damaged side of his face and takes a deep breath.

“Hi, what’s your name?” he asks, sitting down beside the little girl on the steps.

The girl must say something, because she turns to look tearfully at him. 

“I’m Zuko,” he says. “Do you know where your mommy is?”

The girl says something. Her crying makes it hard to understand, but he does know the word ‘no.’

“Do you know your mommy’s phone number?” he asks, praying it’s written down somewhere.

The girl nods and tears a piece of paper out of her pocket.

_ *-***-***-**** _

Zuko quickly puts it into his phone and types a text out.

_ I found your daughter, she’s at  _ ******** building, New York, New York.

Before he can type out another text, something, anything a phone call pops up he declines it, feeling guilty as he starts typing again.

_ I’m sorry I’m deaf.  _

_ I’ll wait right here or I can call the police if you want. _

_ thank you so much im on my way please wait ill tell the cops i found her _

Zuko tucks his phone into his pocket and looks at the girl.

“Your mommy is on her way here. I texted her.” Suddenly he feels stupid for declining the call. She could have talked to her daughter. He’s such an idiot, god. It almost didn’t occur because his father had never wanted to talk to him and with what little he remembered of his mother the less said the better.

The girl grins at him. It’s a little watery and she still looks kind of sad, but Zuko counts it as a win. After a moment of looking at him she starts talking fast. He can’t keep up, There’s no way to keep up. Not with how fast she goes. 

Instead he lets her babble on and tries to nod where it’s appropriate. Eventually she quiets down and leans against his shoulder and looks at the street sleepily. Zuko also watches the street, but he does it anxiously. What if whoever this woman is thinks he tried to kidnap her daughter? What if he’s arrested? What if his father hears?

His questions are answered soon enough when a woman runs towards the girls and drags her into a fierce hug before Zuko can even look at her face. He can make out the little girl yell something like: ‘Mommy!’ as she jumps into the woman’s arms.

“Thank you so much,” the woman says after turning to look at him earnestly. 

She doesn’t recognize Zuko at first, but he knows her. Her hair is short now, barely above her ears. She looks older, has more wrinkles and smile lines, but she’s still as beautiful as the last day he saw her. 

He doesn’t say anything right away, just looks at her in disbelief. Eventually she looks closer at him, scrutinizing his features.

He can tell the moment it hits her. Her eyes widen almost imperceptibly. Her eyes gravitate first to his ears - which are mostly covered by shaggy hair - then to his glasses, and finally to the hair pushed in front of his scar. It hides it a little, but anyone with a brain will see it. Anyone who lived with his father will know what it is.

She reaches out and her lips form his name. As her hand gets close Zuko flinches, stands up, and runs away. He doesn’t look back. 

His mother is alive, is his first thought. He’d been so convinced that father had killed her and hidden the body. For so long that was the only way he could imagine she would leave. She wouldn’t leave on her own; Father must have killed her, and therefore forced her to leave.

But he was wrong. His mother has another child. His little sister. His other little sister. Was that why she left? To protect this child from his father? It makes no sense to him. Father was never violent to Mother or Azula. It was only ever Zuko he hurt. He said it himself:  _ “Women are different, Zuko. Both your mother and sister have their places in this world. You, however, are too soft. Too womanly.” _

Zuko always thought it was strange how his father respected and seemed to even like strong women, but a kind man was not the same as a strong woman or a kind woman or a strong man. As a child it had confused Zuko. Even now it did. Father never hurt his mother. He would have known.

Couldn't she have brought him with her if she left to protect the little girl, his sister? Or stayed? Father wouldn’t have hurt. It wasn’t like him to do that.

Zuko wanders for hours and hours through New York, alleys and main streets and busy Avenues until he can see the sun rising. Suddenly his exhaustion catches up to him and he just wants to be laying in his bed in his apartment and hiding from the world. Maybe even sleeping.

He turns to head back. They’ll be long gone. His mother probably won’t even come back again. Not now that she knows where he lives. She left without and that must mean there’s something wrong with him. She won’t expose his sister(?) to him. 

Hell, if he had a choice he wouldn’t expose himself to himself either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this all in one go and I'm posting. I told myself I'd edit for a few days and it never happened, so hope you enjoy! Sorry if it sucks. I'm not sure how I feel about it but I think that's just my general mood lately. Life is starting up again for me now that summer's coming to an end and I've been reading school stuff like crazy, so I have like no energy to really edit. Anyway, sorry if it sucks! Thanks for sticking around and reading this! I don't know how many more chapters this will be, but probably about 7, so that's what I put. Let me know what you think of this chapter! Also, Zuko takes two steps forward and then three back this chapter :( it's sad but there will eventually be happiness! I promise!

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy this mess? I am kinda not sure whether to hate this or be proud of it, but here it is anyway. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and if you wanna see Zuko confront more trauma with Iroh, Azula, Ursa, Sokka, Katara, etc... I kinda want him to meet Kiyi.


End file.
